Dr Paul Allen

Grief is a wilderness we all travel at multiple times in our lives. Sometimes we grieve the loss of a loved one. Other times, we grieve a broken relationship, a shattered dream, or a ministry failure. Loss takes many shapes, affects us in different ways, and often lingers longer than it seems we can stand it. The Israelites had a liturgy and structure they followed during times of grief. They wept and wailed. They tore at their clothes. They covered themselves in dust and ashes (Job 1:20; 2:12). They cried out to God in sorrow. They sang out in lament. In our culture, we’ve forgotten how to grieve. We rush through painful experiences to put them behind us. When others around us grieve, we are uncomfortable with their tears and do whatever we can to distract them. We might even altogether avoid the grief-stricken around us. But grief is not something to be distracted from, overlooked, or avoided. There’s no timetable and no way to rush through it. Grief is not something that we just ha...

Grief - For the time being, and in response to the recent tragedy in Newtown, CCEF’s minibook on grief is available for free online. Also in connection to Newtown you may want to read Douglas Wilson ’s article titled That Will Be Soon Enough along with David Murray ’s warning about when to stop reading and watching the media reports. Related articles '26 Acts of Kindness' honors Newtown victims (myfox8.com) Help for Those Coping with Grief (fox4kc.com) how to help Newtown (lovelaughbelight.com) Grief-Stricken, Helping Newtown, and Saying Thank You (crazyadventuresinparenting.com) Prayer for Newtown, Connecticut (carolpenner.typepad.com) Newtown Tragedy- Immeasurable Heartbreak (louisesattler.me) Candlelight vigil for Newtown set for Alki on Dec. 22 (westseattleherald.com) Sending Love & Prayers (frillyfabulous.com)

When you need to comfort a Christian friend in the loss of a loved one, you need to be prepared with a spiritual first-aid kit of verses to help the healing to begin. t hese are the five points I have found useful to cover with someone who wants to honor God in their grief. 1. Resist the temptation to be angry at God. It is natural for mourners to experience a sense of indignation , even rage, at the loss of a loved one. This, I believe, is our soul’s normal response to the Curse. We recognize deep within us that death is unnatural, and everything in us cries out for justice and for death to just stop its devastation. The problem is that most people are theologically ill-prepared for the onslaught of these emotions. Their anger can at that time be misdirected. People whoa re smarting from the pangs of the fresh wounds of loss, may be tempted to mistakenly direct their indignation at God. They will often say, something like, “I’m so angry at God right now I can’t even pray.” I say ...

Aerial view of Fitzsimons Army Hospital in Aurora, Colorado, before closure. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Movie theaters are supposed to be a place of escape – for at least a couple of hours -- from the challenges of everyday living. But for the victims and their families and friends in Aurora, Colorado an act of horrifying violence shattered the illusion. Right now they are the center of attention, feeding a 24/7 news cycle . But when the media senses issue fatigue in the minds of its nationwide audience and shifts away to newer, fresher stories, the pain that began in the early morning hours last Friday will linger. For many, it will never go away. There might be a time to talk about guns, violence in the media , and appropriate types of punishments for the people who commit such heinous crimes, but right now the best response is to mourn, comfort and pray. For those who have lost a family member, friend, or co-worker, we are truly sorry for your loss. We hope that friends and f...