Dr Paul Allen

Losing a child is a terrible thing. It strikes at the heart of a family, permanently reshaping it. Death because of disease or accident is heartbreaking for the parents who are left behind, grieving the loss of the child and also the loss of the future joys and hopes that the child represented—all the teaching and love and bonds that never came to full fruition. It is jarring for a parent to bury a son or daughter—against the natural order even in a cursed world. We recognize this, and so every culture has set up ceremonies and customs to grieve, support, and comfort. But there is more than one way to lose a child. Parents who have lost a child to the world face different challenges. They not only grieve the loss but also grieve unrepentant sin and ensuing damage. They have had joys and hopes crushed through willful hurt and deliberate rejection.  They have taught and loved and forged bonds, only to have it thrown back in their faces. There is no protocol for parents to use when fa...

Parenting is no easy task. Charles Spurgeon once said, “He who thinks it easy to bring up a family never had one of his own. A mother who trains her children aright had need be wiser than Solomon , for his son turned out a fool.” Thankfully, God has not left parents to grope about for advice in their exalted task. Scripture is full of guidance. However, it seems that one of the most commonly-quoted parenting verses is frequently subjected to misunderstanding. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). ( ESV , NASB ) The verse is predominantly understood in a few ways. The verse is a promise of blessing consequent of godly parenting. In other words, if a parent raises a child up according to how he should be raised (e.g. hearing the gospel, godliness , godly example), then that child will trust in Christ and live a godly life even into old age . This rendering has hampered many a parent as they watch perplexed whe...

Over the years I watched a number of people come and go through the doors of the church . In our mobile, vagabond, anchorless time, people move from job to job, city to city, and church to church. Given the mobility of a culture, say in comparison with a generation ago when a person might work for one company in the same city and live in the same house for his entire life, people move around. So there were some who left the church because of job transfers. In fact, I had a stretch where more than a dozen families relocated because of job transfers over a two-year period. Most of the time I could understand the job relocation. The situation, for the life of me, that I simply have never understood were the families that left the church because their children were not happy. I can remember sitting before a number of families over the years who would come to me, “Pastor, we really love the church and find the preaching to be edifying . . .” On the heels of such a statement, I could hear...

Deuteronomy 8:18, Thou shalt remember the Lord thy God, 1901 Bible card published by the Providence Lithograph Company (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Moses speaks to Israel, as In Deuteronomy 1 (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) "Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates." ( Deuteronomy 11:18-20 ) This passage is similar to others (e.g., Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ) throughout Moses ' writings and concerns the preserving and propagating of the news of God 's miraculous protection of the people of Israel and the marvelous legal code He had revealed to them.  We can understand better the care by which this preservati...

Hi all, I'm so excited to have Brad Wilcox with us today. As  you've probably heard and read, the rate of American couples who live together without being married are rising dramatically -- it grew 13 percent in 2010 alone.  And while it may be a simpler, more convenient arragement for many couples, that doesn't mean it's without complexity -- especially when the couples break up.   Wilcox's report deals particularly with the ramifications cohabitation can have on children.  We'd love to get your thoughts and questions on this societal shift.  Has it worked for you?  Do you see risks? I'm also working on an upcoming story about the potential pitfalls of cohabitation, so if you have stories you're willing to share, I'd love to hear from you: mccarthye@washpost.com.  Okay, let's get going! –  September 09, 2011 12:58 PM  Permalink Q . Brad, maybe you could start by telling us a little about the report.  Has cohabitation always shown ...