How to Deal with Annoying People
Kids can be annoying. We can be tempted to think that they were born to irritate adults. It seems like the brief moments of sweetness that they display are the only things that keep adults from shipping them to their own island, where they can live out their days annoying one another as they descend into the climactic scene from Lord of the Flies. But there is a problem with that statement. Annoyance is not an attribute someone can possess; it’s a response we have. Kids aren’t annoying so much as adults get annoyed. Deep down inside, we know this, despite how we usually phrase our annoyance: “You’re so annoying,” or, “Those people are annoying me.” In truth, we ought to say, “I’m annoyed.” Annoyance is our response to circumstances we dislike. We can think of annoyance as a quiet form of anger. Anger is the feeling of “against-ness” at some perceived offence. Annoyance is a version of this—feeling aversion for someone who is not conforming to our standard for them. Adults find childr