Dr Paul Allen

At 33 years old, Bill became a Christian after pursuing same-sex relationships for eleven years. As a new believer, he was very open to marrying a woman and even starting a family. However, now thirty years later, he remains unmarried and has found godly contentment as a single man. Bill leads a full life of ministry and mentors many men with experiences similar to his own. After years in the gay community, Mark also put his faith in Christ. His new life as a Christian did not come with any sexual or romantic interest in the opposite sex. He was ready and content to be single for the rest of his life — assuming it was his only truly Christian option. Mark became best friends with Andrea, also a new follower of Christ. She came out of a broken past with abusive boyfriends and even a couple abortions. Because those relationships were toxic, she’d decided to hold off on dating and focus on her relationship with God. The two felt safe together. Mark knew she didn’t want to date, and And...

Adulthood is not just a function of age—it is an achievement. Throughout human history, young people have aspired to achieve adulthood and have worked hard to get there. The three nearly universal marks of adulthood in human societies include marriage, financial independence, and readiness for parenthood. Now, the very concept of adulthood is in jeopardy. Study after study reveals that young people are achieving adulthood, if at all, far later than previous generations now living. The average age of marriage for young - fifty years ago was in the very early twenties. Now, it is trending closer to age thirty. Why is this important to us all? A stable and functional culture requires the establishment of stable marriages and the nurturing of families. Without a healthy marriage and family life as foundation, no lasting and healthy community can long survive. Clearly, our own society reveals the delay of marriage and its consequences, but we are hardly alone. Many European nations ...

Singleness can be a long, lonely, and confusing road, especially when it’s unwanted. Through most of my twenties, I felt like I was born wanting to be married. God finally gave me a wife a little more than a year ago, but not before walking with me through a winding decade of temptation and sometimes failure, of waiting, wanting, and wondering why not yet. Over many years, I learned that God does not guarantee temporary joys for his children like physical health, marriage, success at work, or children. And that’s because he is utterly, relentlessly committed to giving his precious sons and daughters what’s best for us, when it’s best for us, and only if it’s best for us. Never, otherwise ( Romans 8:28). No matter how good the gift seems to be in the moment, or how much we want it, or how long we have waited, God will not abandon the greater good he has promised us ( 2 Corinthians 12:7–10). But we may be tempted to abandon him, to give up on his plan for us, or at least turn ...

The “one-woman man” may seem like an endangered species today. In our over-sexualized and sexually confused society, it’s increasingly rare to come across married men who are truly faithful to their bride — in body, heart, and mind. It may be even more rare to find unmarried men who are on the trajectory for that kind of fidelity to a future wife. Jaws will drop when a handsome, eligible bachelor declares he’s a virgin waiting for the wedding night. Of the fifteen basic qualifications for the office of elder in the local church (1 Timothy 3:1–7), being a one-woman man may be the one that runs most against the grain of our society. We’re relentlessly pushed in precisely the opposite direction. Television, movies, advertising, and just about everything else conditions the twenty-first-century male to approach women as a consumer of many, instead of as a protector and servant of one. The models teach our men to selfishly compromise and take, rather than to passionately cultivate and ...