Dr Paul Allen

Deep in the heart of every true disciple of Jesus is a deep longing for more of God. But what is this more we desire? We might each describe our wants somewhat differently, depending on how this longing refracts through our biology, history, and theological influences. To some degree, none of us has words for it. But at the core, what we desire is to really know God — to know him in the intimate ways that only love knows. And we have this desire because, by God’s unfathomable grace toward us in Christ (Ephesians 2:8–9), he first has known and loved us (1 Corinthians 8:3; 1 John 4:19). It is his great desire, one he expresses in the promise of Jeremiah’s great prophecy (quoted in full in Hebrews 8): This is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother,

The “one-woman man” may seem like an endangered species today. In our over-sexualized and sexually confused society, it’s increasingly rare to come across married men who are truly faithful to their bride — in body, heart, and mind. It may be even more rare to find unmarried men who are on the trajectory for that kind of fidelity to a future wife. Jaws will drop when a handsome, eligible bachelor declares he’s a virgin waiting for the wedding night. Of the fifteen basic qualifications for the office of elder in the local church (1 Timothy 3:1–7), being a one-woman man may be the one that runs most against the grain of our society. We’re relentlessly pushed in precisely the opposite direction. Television, movies, advertising, and just about everything else conditions the twenty-first-century male to approach women as a consumer of many, instead of as a protector and servant of one. The models teach our men to selfishly compromise and take, rather than to passionately cultivate and