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Showing posts with the label sexual history

Damaged Goods - by John Piper

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Talking about sexual history with the person you’re dating can go wrong very quickly. It can turn a healthy dating relationship into a game of manipulation and control in a millisecond. When sexual history is revealed, both parties may feel betrayed for different reasons. Every sentence takes on the cadence of a threat — an ultimatum. Every question can land like a left hook. “I thought you loved me.” “It’s dealt with in Christ, so why is this so hard for you?” “What grief or concerns am I allowed to express?” Dealing with sexual history can turn intimacy into a battlefield, and affection into a tangled web of recorded wrongs — of power plays and sharpened blades. I’ve been on both sides of this conversation. I allowed insecurity to take the driving seat. I allowed my ego to become the thing I protected and cherished, rather than the valuable and vulnerable image of God in front of me. Rarely do two Christians have the proper tools to defuse the conversation. Dating is an