Church Fights - all in or all out?
Church history teaches us that conflict in church life is a reality. The disciples of Jesus disagreed with each other; the early church was fraught with division, and disunity has continued to be a recurring issue ever since. From petty controversies to serious errors, conflict is a regular feature of church life.
While moral failings and heresy require church discipline (Matt. 18:15–17), how are we to tolerate differences over minor matters that do not warrant church discipline?
We can learn a great deal from Paul in his letter to the Philippians on this issue. Rather than exposing the specifics of the controversy between Euodia and Syntyche, Paul winsomely reminds them of who they are before helping them resolve their disagreement.
Remember That You Are Beloved of God
Paul’s language in Philippians 4:1 is striking. He addresses the church at Philippi as “my brothers,” “whom I love” and “long for” and are “my joy and crown” who are “my beloved.” With candour, he reveals his heartfelt feelings for them. He loves them and cares deeply for them. Paul’s affection for them was an expression of Christ’s affection for them (Phil. 1:8). As much as Paul loved them, Christ loved them more. In fact, Paul’s love for them was but an echo of God’s love for them. His communication of love was a reminder that they were loved by God Himself.
Differences of opinion are an opportunity for us to remember this profound reality. Our brothers and sisters with whom we disagree are loved by God. They, like us, are the “beloved” of Christ. This should shape the way that we think of and relate to those with whom we are in conflict. They are the beloved of Christ, brothers and sisters for whom He shed His precious blood. Regardless of how deep we think the controversy, we are to love each other as Christ loves us.
Remember That You Are Citizens of Heaven
Paul also exhorts Euodia and Syntyche to have a heavenly perspective. He reminds them of their shared identity and destiny. They are both citizens of heaven, awaiting their Saviour (Phil. 3:20). Their names are written in the Book of Life (Phil. 4:3). As real and divisive as their conflict was, they shared something even more certain and substantive. Their identity was Christ, and their destiny was to be like Christ.
This perspective helps us bear with those with whom we have differences. They are not enemies of the cross of Christ whose end is destruction (Phil. 3:18–19); instead, they are fellow citizens of heaven. Like us, they will one day be with the Lord and be like the Lord. However difficult the conflict may be and whatever animosity has arisen because of it, the truth that those with whom we differ are citizens can help us gain a sense of perspective. These are our brothers and sisters who share a common identity and destiny with us. Our minor infractions are nothing compared to the otherworldly home for which we are being prepared.
Rather than exposing the specifics of the controversy between Euodia and Syntyche, Paul winsomely reminds them of who they are before helping them resolve their disagreement.
It takes godly grit and determination to deal with conflict. Without these shared realities, it would be nigh on impossible. Yet because of these realities, we can patiently listen to, empathize with, and do good to our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Paul also expects that church conflicts can be resolved.
Stand Firm
First, he tells them to “stand firm thus in the Lord.” (Phil. 4:1) This command is corporate in nature. Echoing Philippians 1:27, Paul calls them to have “one spirit” and “one mind” as they strive side by side for the gospel. Standing firm is the first step in resolving church conflict because it requires the whole church to do it together. It is simply not possible to stand firm on your own. It can be done only arm in arm with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Practically speaking, this means that even as we disagree, we must continue to worship, serve, and live the Christian life. Not only will this standing firm help us tolerate each other’s differences, but it will also help us resolve those differences as we labour alongside one another for the glory of Christ.
Agree Together
Second, Paul makes a bold yet straightforward entreaty to Euodia and Syntyche to “agree in the Lord” (Phil. 4:2). The best conflict resolution is for those who have fallen out to make every effort to settle their differences and, if possible, to agree. Reiterating Philippians 2:2, Paul calls these two Christians to be of one mind, to be in full accord, and to have the same love. This requires a Christlike humility that counts our fellow Christians as more significant than ourselves and looks to the interests of those with whom we disagree more than to our own interests (Phil. 2:3–4). In a word, it requires us to have the mind of Christ (Phil. 2:5–8).
Help Each Other
Third, Paul asks for his “true companion” to help resolve the conflict between Euodia and Syntyche (Phil. 4:3). Regardless of who this true companion was, Paul clearly understood that settling the conflict between two Christians is a communal project. Others in the church need help. The two women should not be left to deal with this problem on their own. Instead, trusted and mature Christians need to get involved and support them in seeking a resolution.
Sadly, this insightful pastoral advice is too often ignored. Conflict is kept private, where it festers and grows into cancerous division. Paul is pointing us to a better way. Seek the counsel and help of others. Get wiser Christians involved where they can assist and support both parties in finding a God-honoring solution to their differences.
Jesus Christ Himself declared, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matt. 5:9). As inevitable as conflict may be among Christians, it would be wonderful if the church was known not so much for her differences but for the peaceful and Christlike way in which it deals with those differences.
Rev. Andy Young
