Men are just happier people
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EATING OUT |
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. |
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. |
MONEY |
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. |
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. |
BATHROOMS |
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. |
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. |
ARGUMENTS |
· A woman has the last word in any argument.. |
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. |
FUTURE |
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. |
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. |
SUCCESS |
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. |
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man. |
MARRIAGE |
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. |
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. |
DRESSING UP |
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. |
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. |
NATURAL |
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. |
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night. |
OFFSPRING |
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.. |
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. |
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY |
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! |