Hate the sin but love the sinner? Can we hate?
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| Jesus is considered by scholars such as Weber to be an example of a charismatic religious leader. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
If we “hate the sin and love the sinner,” but never practicalize what God’s love fully means as it relates to the sinner, then we are missing something that is of paramount importance.
Though the intent of the statement is good, the danger is that it can lead us into the pluralistic relativism we so despise in our culture today. Hate the sin, but love the sinner is a forced juxtaposition of biblical thought that can abuse the word love, while obscuring God’s plenary character and attributes.
Whenever we take two thoughts like this–hate sin/love sinner–and put them together, and then try to create a doctrine out of it, we may orchestrate an unnecessary tension that can perpetuate biblical ignorance while confusing our non-Christian friends.
Though the goal may be noble–Christians should love everybody–the result can be bad if we do not understand all the parts of the LORD’s love like justice, holiness, and wrath, which can be siphoned from His character if our love is watered down to culture-accepting levels.
What you will end up with is a god that is amenable to our culture, but unable to save them from their sins.
Can we hate?
My sister-in-law shot my brother five times with a gun. He died.
She murdered him and then was released from her crime after serving a couple hundred hours of community service. His death is a real illustration of your point: how am I to hate the sin and love the sinner?
I am using my illustration for this talking point because it is real and I have had to wrestle with the “sin/sinner” juxtaposition. This situation affected me deeply as I had to work through this tragic narrative that the LORD wrote into my life.
There is no use for me to interact with the “hate the sin” part of your question because I think we all can agree that sin is to be hated. Without question I hated her sin, but I hate all sin–just as you do to.
One look at the cross and we all can say in unison, “We hate sin. We hate the sin of others and we hate that our sin caused the death of the LORD’s dear Son.”
The world may love their sin, but we do not love sin. We hate sin with a passion. Even if we find temporary pleasure in our sin, we always come back to a biblically informed, heart motivated hatred for sin (Hebrews 11:25).
Hating sin is easy.
The more contoured issue for us to think about is what does it means to love a sinner. Unfortunately, in an effort to communicate that Christians are loving people, some of us have twisted love into something that looks more like our culture’s view than our LORD’s.
What is love?
If hate implies not accepting something—I reject your sin—then it makes sense for love to mean the acceptance of something.
That is the message the Christian wants to communicate to the sinner: I reject your sin, but I accept you. The problem is that this simple slice of love can easily run afoul without a deeper explanation of the whole.
If we are not careful, we can say, “The sin is not about you. You I love; it is your sin I hate.” As you have already noted, this is a biblically awkward juxtaposition. This simplistic saying provides no nuance or deeper reflection about what love should be, can be, or how we are to live it out in light of the real threat of personal sin.
Love is deeper and broader than, “I accept you.”
There are other aspects of love that must be part of our definition, and when they are, we will be able to represent God more impressively and comprehensively, whether it is in the evangelism of our friends or the sanctification of them.
God of love
My sister-in-law shot my brother five times with a gun. He died.
She murdered him and then was released from her crime after serving a couple hundred hours of community service. His death is a real illustration of your point: how am I to hate the sin and love the sinner?
I am using my illustration for this talking point because it is real and I have had to wrestle with the “sin/sinner” juxtaposition. This situation affected me deeply as I had to work through this tragic narrative that the LORD wrote into my life.
There is no use for me to interact with the “hate the sin” part of your question because I think we all can agree that sin is to be hated. Without question I hated her sin, but I hate all sin–just as you do to.
One look at the cross and we all can say in unison, “We hate sin. We hate the sin of others and we hate that our sin caused the death of the LORD’s dear Son.”
The world may love their sin, but we do not love sin. We hate sin with a passion. Even if we find temporary pleasure in our sin, we always come back to a biblically informed, heart motivated hatred for sin (Hebrews 11:25).
Hating sin is easy.
The more contoured issue for us to think about is what does it means to love a sinner. Unfortunately, in an effort to communicate that Christians are loving people, some of us have twisted love into something that looks more like our culture’s view than our LORD’s.
What is love?
If hate implies not accepting something—I reject your sin—then it makes sense for love to mean the acceptance of something.
That is the message the Christian wants to communicate to the sinner: I reject your sin, but I accept you. The problem is that this simple slice of love can easily run afoul without a deeper explanation of the whole.
If we are not careful, we can say, “The sin is not about you. You I love; it is your sin I hate.” As you have already noted, this is a biblically awkward juxtaposition. This simplistic saying provides no nuance or deeper reflection about what love should be, can be, or how we are to live it out in light of the real threat of personal sin.
Love is deeper and broader than, “I accept you.”
There are other aspects of love that must be part of our definition, and when they are, we will be able to represent God more impressively and comprehensively, whether it is in the evangelism of our friends or the sanctification of them.
God of love
God is love, and He will allow any person to go to hell because of their choice to live in sin. God is love, and His wrath is on any person who chooses to live in sin (John 3:36).
Our God, who is love (1 John 4:8), is also the God of wrath (Romans 1:18). God so loved the world (John 3:16) and His wrath is currently on any person who chooses to live in sin (John 3:36).
The fact that He allows a person to choose hell does not diminish His love at all. There is no contradiction in this sentence: “God loves sinners and He punishes sinners.”
If we interpret love without understanding God’s wrath or justice, we will have a gushy, post modern, to-each-his-own, cultural world view of love.
I love my former sister-in-law, but I demand her sin be punished. If her sin is not punished, then I am making light of my brother’s death, and I am placing little significance on his life or how he died.
To say his life and death did not matter is un-love. Therefore, we must have justice, a means in which love is affirmed by saying sin does matter and it must be punished. Justice is a non-negotiable facet of love.
If the good LORD ignored our sin, then His love would be without force or meaning. And we would have never understood the love of God or experienced His love to the depth that we have if He had not confronted us about our sin.
Love without justice creates an unloving world.
Justice without love creates a fearful world.
Love and justice creates a holy and worship-filled world.
God of justice
To ignore sin is to say it does not matter. What would God be like if He did not punish sin? We would most certainly conclude that sin was not a big deal to the LORD. This is not the God you want to worship.
You want a God who believes in justice, a God who does not let sins go or sinners escape. You want a culture like this too. (If Dylann Roof is found to be guilty, then we want him to be punished for his crimes.)
No justice for all the wrongs committed is a world that even our culture does not accept. To some degree they have a sense of and a desire for justice. They would even say this is the loving (right) thing to do.
The hate the sin, but love the sinner mantra does not fully or accurately communicate the seriousness of the problem, and it can easily miss the eternal judgment that is certain to come to any sinner that does not repent.
To love well is to punish sinners. That truth cannot be avoided.
If you have a gushy view of love, you will not punish the sinner and you will see punishment as hate. Sometimes love is confrontational. Love requires a payment for sin (2 Corinthians 5:21; Isaiah 53:10).
The LORD has no choice because He is fully loving: He has to confront sin; He must punish sinners. To punish sin and to punish sinners is the right thing to do. The justice part of love demands this.
Mercifully, our great God of love chose to punish His one and only Son so we, who should be punished, do not have to be punished. The justice part of His love was served. God hated our sin so much that He punished an innocent person.
The hate the sin, but not the sinner juxtaposition may make preaching from a pulpit easier to listen to, but it can twist our understanding of God by weakening His attributes, specifically His justice.
If you truly hate the sin, but love the sinner then you will courageously and lovingly tell the sinner the whole truth about God’s current and future wrath.
Do you love well?
What if we explored your hate the sin, but love the sinner construct in a more practical way? We can do this by examining this question:
What does your love look like for the sinners who sin against you?
Let us suppose you are in a difficult marriage, and your bitterness, un-forgiveness, and general disappointment toward your spouse continues to grow, even if it is imperceptible to others.
How much do you love your spouse?
How much do you love those who sin against you?
How much do you love that person who hurts you?
Let us circle back around to our mantra, hate the sin, but love the sinner. Is that really true for you?
Is there someone in your life, who has sinned against you, that you are not able to actively love through kindness, affection, and desire to serve them?
We can abuse our love the sinner mantra in two ways:
We want sinners to like us, so we do not tell them about the LORD’s wrath.
We dislike sinners who have hurt us, so we refuse to love them the way LORD loves us (Romans 5:8; Matthew 5:43-48, 18:33).
My experience has been that most people have a hard time loving those who have sinned against them. As an example, there are too many Christian spouses who have a genuine disdain for the person they married. They may say they hate the sin, but love the sinner–except when the sinner sins against them.
If you are really going to love the sinner, then love them the way Christ did by dying for them (Ephesians 5:25). What if we lowered the platitude flag and jumped into the trenches with them?
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:19-21 (ESV)
If we really do love the sinner, but hate their sin, then we should be (1) spending time with them, (2) helping them, (3) serving them, and (4) genuinely leading them so they don’t have to experience God’s justice.
Jesus is our perfect example of someone who hates sin, but loves sinners. He has a comprehensive love that is available to any kind of sinner.
He gave them time – Jesus never turned a person away when they came to Him, e.g., Nicodemus and the rich young man.
He gave them truth – Jesus never compromised what God’s love meant, which included speaking about the LORD’s justice, wrath, and holiness.
He gave them love – Jesus was never sinful to anyone, no matter how sinful they were to Him. He never responded with unkindness or un-forgiveness toward others.
Your call to action
What type of sinners do you struggle with loving well?
Why is this so?
How do you need to change?
Our God, who is love (1 John 4:8), is also the God of wrath (Romans 1:18). God so loved the world (John 3:16) and His wrath is currently on any person who chooses to live in sin (John 3:36).
The fact that He allows a person to choose hell does not diminish His love at all. There is no contradiction in this sentence: “God loves sinners and He punishes sinners.”
If we interpret love without understanding God’s wrath or justice, we will have a gushy, post modern, to-each-his-own, cultural world view of love.
I love my former sister-in-law, but I demand her sin be punished. If her sin is not punished, then I am making light of my brother’s death, and I am placing little significance on his life or how he died.
To say his life and death did not matter is un-love. Therefore, we must have justice, a means in which love is affirmed by saying sin does matter and it must be punished. Justice is a non-negotiable facet of love.
If the good LORD ignored our sin, then His love would be without force or meaning. And we would have never understood the love of God or experienced His love to the depth that we have if He had not confronted us about our sin.
Love without justice creates an unloving world.
Justice without love creates a fearful world.
Love and justice creates a holy and worship-filled world.
God of justice
To ignore sin is to say it does not matter. What would God be like if He did not punish sin? We would most certainly conclude that sin was not a big deal to the LORD. This is not the God you want to worship.
You want a God who believes in justice, a God who does not let sins go or sinners escape. You want a culture like this too. (If Dylann Roof is found to be guilty, then we want him to be punished for his crimes.)
No justice for all the wrongs committed is a world that even our culture does not accept. To some degree they have a sense of and a desire for justice. They would even say this is the loving (right) thing to do.
The hate the sin, but love the sinner mantra does not fully or accurately communicate the seriousness of the problem, and it can easily miss the eternal judgment that is certain to come to any sinner that does not repent.
To love well is to punish sinners. That truth cannot be avoided.
If you have a gushy view of love, you will not punish the sinner and you will see punishment as hate. Sometimes love is confrontational. Love requires a payment for sin (2 Corinthians 5:21; Isaiah 53:10).
The LORD has no choice because He is fully loving: He has to confront sin; He must punish sinners. To punish sin and to punish sinners is the right thing to do. The justice part of love demands this.
Mercifully, our great God of love chose to punish His one and only Son so we, who should be punished, do not have to be punished. The justice part of His love was served. God hated our sin so much that He punished an innocent person.
The hate the sin, but not the sinner juxtaposition may make preaching from a pulpit easier to listen to, but it can twist our understanding of God by weakening His attributes, specifically His justice.
If you truly hate the sin, but love the sinner then you will courageously and lovingly tell the sinner the whole truth about God’s current and future wrath.
Do you love well?
What if we explored your hate the sin, but love the sinner construct in a more practical way? We can do this by examining this question:
What does your love look like for the sinners who sin against you?
Let us suppose you are in a difficult marriage, and your bitterness, un-forgiveness, and general disappointment toward your spouse continues to grow, even if it is imperceptible to others.
How much do you love your spouse?
How much do you love those who sin against you?
How much do you love that person who hurts you?
Let us circle back around to our mantra, hate the sin, but love the sinner. Is that really true for you?
Is there someone in your life, who has sinned against you, that you are not able to actively love through kindness, affection, and desire to serve them?
We can abuse our love the sinner mantra in two ways:
We want sinners to like us, so we do not tell them about the LORD’s wrath.
We dislike sinners who have hurt us, so we refuse to love them the way LORD loves us (Romans 5:8; Matthew 5:43-48, 18:33).
My experience has been that most people have a hard time loving those who have sinned against them. As an example, there are too many Christian spouses who have a genuine disdain for the person they married. They may say they hate the sin, but love the sinner–except when the sinner sins against them.
If you are really going to love the sinner, then love them the way Christ did by dying for them (Ephesians 5:25). What if we lowered the platitude flag and jumped into the trenches with them?
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:19-21 (ESV)
If we really do love the sinner, but hate their sin, then we should be (1) spending time with them, (2) helping them, (3) serving them, and (4) genuinely leading them so they don’t have to experience God’s justice.
Jesus is our perfect example of someone who hates sin, but loves sinners. He has a comprehensive love that is available to any kind of sinner.
He gave them time – Jesus never turned a person away when they came to Him, e.g., Nicodemus and the rich young man.
He gave them truth – Jesus never compromised what God’s love meant, which included speaking about the LORD’s justice, wrath, and holiness.
He gave them love – Jesus was never sinful to anyone, no matter how sinful they were to Him. He never responded with unkindness or un-forgiveness toward others.
Your call to action
What type of sinners do you struggle with loving well?
Why is this so?
How do you need to change?
