Sexual Temptation
Few people set out in life thinking, “Down the road, I plan to destroy my life and relationships by plunging myself into sexual sin.” It’s not that simple or sudden. Instead, sexual sin takes its victims through multi-faceted paths of deception and allurement. That’s what makes it so successful. As Solomon correctly observed, “Many are the victims she has cast down, and numerous are all her slain” (Prov. 7:26).
Proverbs 7 is a sobering play-by-play of the slide into sexual sin. From it, we can make a few observations to prepare ourselves accordingly.
- Sexual temptation has many ruthless and clever tactics.
We mustn’t think that sexual sin will dance in front of us like a pink elephant holding a sign which says, “Follow me into the predatory pit of sexual sin!” It’s more clever than that.
Proverbs 7:10-21 play
out a scary scenario of the adulteress vs. the simpleton. She systematically tests his resolve. She is persistent, but not overbearing. She is evil but advertises as good. She is predatorial, knowing exactly how to lure him in. She is cunning, moving the process along at the perfect speed. Throughout the slide, she cleverly plays the right card at the right time.
- Sexual temptation can gain ground where selfish ambition exists.
Jerry Wragg has wisely observed, “One of the biggest portals to sexual immorality is selfish ambition.” A lust for self-exaltation is a gateway to other lusts. When the soul is hungry for self-promotion, it has now opened itself up to vices that satisfy the hunger. When sexual temptation arrives, the selfishly ambitious heart is in an “I deserve” posture. Thus, the tempted will grant itself permission accordingly.
- The sexual temptation will find you even if you’re not looking for it.
In Proverbs 7, sexual sin ventures out to meet the guy, not the other way around (v. 10). She finds him. You will not need to go seek out sexual sin. It’s easier than that. An undisciplined or unintentional season of life will suffice.
Several things make it easier to be found. With the dawn of the digital age, it’s easier to find us. Social media in our hand makes us an exponentially easier target than previous days. A breach in the soul makes for a bigger target.
Unchecked high-mindedness; a lust for significance; feelings-based living; lack of discipline—these and more can serve as a dinner bell for sexual temptation to move in and do damage.
We have to be careful about flattering ourselves in over-confidence. Sure, we may not be seeking out sexual sin. But that does not mean it is not looking for us. Our flesh, Satan, and the world will systematically push us to find a weak spot.
Unless we are Jesus or dead, it’s possible that we have weak spots. And we might have them, not necessarily because we are attempting to construct weak spots, but because might be failing to construct strong spots.
- The sexual temptation will present itself as attractive and appealing, not unattractive and unappealing.
Experienced fly-fishermen know something essential about the sport. You need a large supply of flies to get the fish. There is no “one-size-fits-all.” It depends on what the fish like and at what time. That’s how sexual temptation works. It studies you. It knows you. It knows which fly to bait you with. It knows what lures you and what does not.
Sexual temptation knows what you find appealing and unappealing. It knows what grabs your eye and what doesn’t. It knows what gets your attention. It understands what captures your interest. It also knows what peripheral things to use to stoke that interest. And it may use spiritual accoutrements to slowly lure you into its destruction. Good things; even godly things, will suffice. As long as it can slowly play on our interests, it can do its work.
- Sexual temptation is often not freakish.
The parts and processes of temptation will not usually strike us as bizarre or grotesque. That’s why it’s temptation. Instead, it will often prey on us in the normal rhythms and places of life (cf. Prov. 7:12). The job. A professional atmosphere or meeting. Church. Counselling. At Bible study. A hobby. At the gym. At the doctor. On a business trip. At a restaurant. Among family, friends, and neighbours.
Sexual temptation is no startling freak that would scare away its potential victims. It slithers into all of the routine places and times of life.
- Sexual temptation is not in short supply.
“She…lurks by every corner” (Prov. 7:12). Even before the digital age, sexual temptation presented itself on every road. Now, it needs no roads. Your phone, iPad, and computer are a convergence of the world’s bustling highways. Opportunity certainly is knocking and buzzing, and ringing, and notifying.
- Sexual temptation can deliver a thrilling shock treatment.
A few scenes into the slide, sexual temptation puts forward a new play. Like the football team patiently waiting all season to break out its “Hook and Ladder” or “Fumblerooski,” sexual temptation waits patiently for this one. So far, it’s slowly played its strategy so as to not scare away. But there is often a well-timed point where it delivers a thrilling shock treatment: “So she seizes him and kisses him…” (Prov. 7:13). Again, this guy was not out looking for sexual sin. He was, for the most part, innocently going about his jolly way. And that was the problem.
Sexual sin slowly engages. He doesn’t flee. Then, BOOM. The thrilling shock treatment. A kiss. A sensual presentation. An irresistible image. A cunning touch. A crafty word. At the beginning of the slide, it probably would not have worked. The card has been perfectly played. This will not work for everyone at the same time or in the same way. But, the time right on the slide, it can be very effective.
The thrill of an intoxicating shock-treatment is powerful because it can bring an adventure to a season of boredom. “Wow! That was a nice change!” “What a refreshing encouragement.” “What a rare, and well-needed kind demeanour.” “That’s the kind of person God wants in my life.”
Sexual sin provides a self-centred thrill to our miserable routine. It gives a big, but deadly, happiness to a boring life. And it delivers instantly, which makes it more powerful.
- Sexual temptation can present itself as spiritual virtue.
The temptation has stunned the victim a bit here and there. But he isn’t quite convinced yet. He isn’t jumping into bed yet. And temptation knows that.
This is probably where sexual temptation really gained ground in the Proverbs 7 tragedy. “I was due to offer peace offerings; today I have paid my vows” (Prov. 7:14). The peace offering was a command from Leviticus 7. “Wow. She knows Leviticus! And she applies it to her life!”
Temptation can present itself as moral, upright, and godly. “This is a spiritual thing. Yeah, it may not be ideal, but God can use this for good. After all, we both talk about God. We both agree that God has brought us together. He wants us to be joyful. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. This is a God thing. And God brought David and Bathsheba together and it worked out.”
Sexual sin will not say, “Let’s wreck our lives and families through adultery and enslaving sexual sin; let’s violate God’s good design.” Instead, at the right time in the seductive process, it packages itself as a decent spiritual endeavour.
- Sexual temptation hits vulnerable places with flattery.
Sin seductively pretends to take interest in her victim. “…I have come out to meet you, to seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you” (Prov. 7:15). Three times the guy is hit with the enticing “you” in that one sentence. The temptation seems to be all about him. It lures him in by pretending to take an interest: “Oh wow, here’s someone (or something) that is serving me; that really likes me; that is giving me some appreciation and relief.” “I’ve never been paid attention to like that before.” “They really love me.”
If the relationship, or act, involves sin, in no way can it be called love? The parties do not love each other. They may lust, but the only ones they love are themselves. It is sin. But, the temptation will hit with an intoxicating flattery.
- Sexual temptation attacks by appealing to the sense.
Sin knows that we are physical beings. The senses often dominate and rule us. Especially when there are weak spots in the soul, the senses can become a gateway to sexual sin. “I have spread my couch with coverings, with coloured linens of Egypt. I have sprinkled my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon” (Prov. 7:16-17). Those words painted and wafted up the finest sites and smell available in the ancient east. And for the guy already a tad on his heals from the previous seductions, the sensory appeal is only knocking him back further. We all have aromas, tastes, and sites that please us. Temptation knows what they are. Sexual temptation can make huge inroads by appealing to the senses.
- The sexual temptation will cleverly address the risks that cause hesitation.
This is where temptation can get quite clever. It will not always flagrantly ignore the risks inherent to the sin. If the one tempted is hesitating; if the risk has become a roadblock, the temptation will cunningly navigate its victim around the roadblock. “[M]y husband is not at home, he has gone on a long journey. He has taken a bag of money with him, at the full moon he will come home” (Prov. 7:19-20).
The temptation will address your concern but soothe it, perhaps with a factual scenario. In doing so, it gently shows that the door is safely open and the enjoyment is ready for the taking.
- Sexual temptation is powerfully intoxicating.
This is why sexual sin is unique. It possesses immense power due to the intoxicating nature of sex (cf. Prov. 5:19). Sound reasoning easily shipwrecks on the rock of sexual drunkenness. Typically, it is the most powerful step on the slide to sexual sin.
“With her many persuasions she entices him; with her flattering lips, she seduces him” (Prov. 7:21). The persuasions of sexual sin are not few, but “many.” To persuade means to exert power through various means. At this point, with the sexual act within close reach, the temptation is playing the tempted like a masterful marionette. He’s completely under intoxication’s sway and has lost control. It’s a severe mismatch. And it’s game over in every way: “Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter…” (Prov. 7:22).
- Sexual temptation destroys in a swift and sudden manner.
The slide is complete. The bait has been taken. And it tasted very good, but only for a moment. Though the slide into the sexual sin was slow and varied, the destruction is sudden and final. The deed, or deeds, are done. Regardless if the sin continues and the pleasure enjoyed, the destruction is instantaneous. Sowing will follow the reaping.
“Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, until an arrow pierces through his liver; as a bird hastens to the snare, so he does not know that it will cost him his life” (Prov. 7:22-23).
Sexual temptation has a war chest full of cunning tactics. It will seek to catch you off-guard (cf. Prov. 7:8, 10-13). It will come at you with a blast of persuasions, enticings, and flattery (cf. Prov. 7:21).
It will manipulate you slowly, with the sensory appeal (cf. Prov. 7:16-17) and present itself as morally justifiable (cf. Prov. 7:14). It will overpower you with stunning strength (cf. Prov. 7:22). In the end, it will turn you into a loaf of bread (cf. Prov. 6:26). That, in part, is how the slide into sexual sin happens.
Thankfully, God has sent a Savior to the world. For all who have, are, and will slide into sexual sin, there is great news: God became a man, Jesus Christ. He lived in stunningly perfect obedience to God the Father. In doing so, he was uniquely qualified to serve as the sin-bearing Savior for the unrighteous—whether unrighteous in sins of sex, sins of word, sins of thought, sins of motivation; all sin. Christ rose on the third day, declaring his supremacy over death, sin, and Satan. For all who trust in him, there is the assurance of permanent right standing before Almighty God.
“Therefore let him who thinks he stands to take heed that he does not fall” (1 Cor. 10:12).
