Jesus stopped listening to Mary

Jesus was a perfect son. He never sinned, He always obeyed His mother. But then came His first public miracle and something clearly changed.

In John chapter 2, we find ourselves at a wedding not too far from where Jesus grew up. Mary seems to have important responsibilities at this wedding. Mary is informed that the wine ran out and we know that this was a potential disaster for the groom. He was expected to take care of the whole wedding, and running out of wine was like saying to his new father-in-law that he will not be able to take care of his daughter.

Jesus is there, though, and He will have compassion on this teenaged couple and perform a miracle for them. Obviously, the main point of this passage is to show the world that Jesus Christ is God, He is the creator of the universe, and He, only, has the power to save souls from hell.

There is another lesson, though, that Jesus teaches in His interaction with His mother.

While He was the most obedient child to ever walk on this earth, He seems to stiff-arm his mom here, so to speak. He isn’t disrespecting her, but He is distancing himself from her.

When she comes to ask Him to help out in the situation—I’m not sure she knows that He can do miracles, she probably just knew that Jesus was the wisest man she’s ever known, and has helped her get out of tough situations for almost 30 years—Jesus says something very fascinating.

She simply informs him, “They have no wine.”

Jesus, despite the fact that He is about to exceed her expectations and do something about the situation, takes this opportunity to declare something really important. He says,

“Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come.” John 2:4

Remember, He is about to do exactly what she asked Him to do, if not more, and yet He takes this opportunity to stiff-arm her, so to speak.

Our first clue that He is distancing Himself from her is that He calls her woman and not mother. John is clearly pointing this out to us since in the next verse he uses that very word in his narrative (John 2:5).

While it was not disrespectful to speak to your mother that way, it is a hint that Jesus is distancing Himself from her authority.

The second clue and perhaps the greatest reason why we know that Jesus is distancing Himself from his mother is what He says.  He says, “what does that have to do with us?”




This is a phrase used only five times in the Bible. I was shocked to find out that on every other occasion this phrase was used, it is used by demons! Demons use this phrase when they realize they are in the presence of Jesus. They are distancing themselves from Jesus and declaring their unworthiness to be in His presence. They are asserting the fact that they are on opposite teams and that they have competing wills.

Jesus is doing the same thing with His mother. He is telling her that from now on He must obey His Father, alone. His Father in Heaven and Mary have different agendas, so to speak. Mary cannot possibly know or understand God’s will and therefore Jesus is letting her know, lovingly but firmly, that He cannot and will not obey her or do as she wants from here on out.

In making the statement “My hour has not yet come” Jesus points out the irony that Mary unknowingly is asking Jesus to begin His ascent to the cross. While she couldn’t possibly understand or predict this fact, and if she knew that this would be the end result, she would probably not have asked Jesus for His help,  It does expose the fact that Mary and the Trinity have different desires and wills and therefore are in competition against each other.

Jesus only solidified this concept later on in His ministry when a woman called out while He was walking down the street and shouted,

 “While Jesus was saying these things, one of the women in the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, Blessed is the womb that bore You and the breasts at which You nursed.  But He said, On the contrary, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it” (Luke 11:27-28).

Jesus had an opportunity to confirm this woman’s sentiment and yet denounced it, focusing, rather, on those who obey His Word.

On another occasion, Jesus is informed that His family is close by and would like to speak to Him.  He responds like this,

“And His mother and brothers came to Him, and they were unable to get to Him because of the crowd. And it was reported to Him, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, wishing to see You. But He answered and said to them, my mother and my brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it” (Luke 8:21).

Jesus clearly is favouring His spiritual family above His earthly one. He is clearly making the Gospel the centre of His relationships.



The miracle at Cana has been used by the Roman Catholic Church to prove the fact that we must pray to Mary. The saying goes that a son cannot say no to his mother. Therefore, when you pray, ask Mary to go to Jesus so that you are more likely to get what you want if His mother goes to Him for you.

But a clear reading of this story would actually prove the opposite. Jesus is telling His mother that He will not and cannot do what she says from here on out. His desires and His will do not align with His mother’s, and she cannot possibly understand or implement His mission.

As a sinful human being, she is limited in her knowledge and limited by her sinful flesh. Jesus must distance Himself from her for her own good so that He can die on the cross for her sins and rise from the dead in order to become her perfect substitute.

When we pray, we must go directly to the Father since only He knows what is best, and so that only He will receive the glory when prayer is answered. We must always pray according to His will because no human can know or understand the will of God.