How to deal with your anger
Eph 4:26-27 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
1. Identify your sin of anger
This means pasting a biblical label on it. Don’t call it being crabby, irritable, or hot-blooded. We often speak in terms of anger coming from a source other than ourselves. We use victim terminology. We ‘lose our temper’ because he ‘makes us so angry.’ But anger is a sin that is conceived in the only place sin can be: your heart (James 1:14-15).
But this verse implies that it is possible to be angry and not sin, so there are two types of anger.
Garden variety anger: This is getting upset when someone wrongs you. It makes you want to get revenge, or somehow retaliate to signal your displeasure. This is why cars have horns ….. to tell other drivers how angry we are….right?
Righteous indignation: Jesus burned with zeal for the temple, made a whip and drove out the avaricious merchants. So, yes, there is such a thing as righteous anger. But when Jesus was reviled, persecuted and arrested, he never got angry. There is no anger of Christ that was ever sparked by an attack on him, or his teachings or even his disciples.
So righteous anger is anger that is a reaction to an attack on God or others, not you. As soon as you are in the group of those affected, then you are disqualified from being angry about it. Let’s face it, if someone breaks into your home and steals everything, are you honestly angry that they were violating the Romans 13 principle of obeying the government, and violating the 10 commandments? Or are you angry that your new flat screen TV is gone and wasn’t insured?
It is good for us to feel anger toward sin against God. But…don’t re-label your anger as righteous anger.
We need to use Scripture to help think about anger the way God does. It is no minor-league sin.
Matt 5:22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment;
To think rightly about sin you need to know that it gives an opportunity to the devil to wreak havoc in your life and the lives of others. One of the best ways to renew your mind is to remember the consequences of sin.
a) Anger makes you do foolish things.
Prov 14: 17 A man of quick temper acts foolishly…
Like the guy who gets angry in traffic so starts driving recklessly with his family in the car.
Like the guy who gets angry in traffic so starts driving recklessly with his family in the car.
b) Anger makes you vulnerable to manipulation.
Prov 25: 28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
You’ve heard people say ‘She knows just how to push my buttons.’ Well, take the remote out of her hand!
You’ve heard people say ‘She knows just how to push my buttons.’ Well, take the remote out of her hand!
c) Anger breeds more anger.
Prov 29: 22 A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.
Wrath and anger are like a male and female rabbit. If you leave them alone long enough they are going to start multiplying. Soon you have baby bunnies of strife and transgression.
Wrath and anger are like a male and female rabbit. If you leave them alone long enough they are going to start multiplying. Soon you have baby bunnies of strife and transgression.
3. Replace it with self-control
Eph 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; [don’t stop reading there] do not let the sun go down on your anger.
That’s because, overnight anger morphs into bitterness. And there is no such thing as righteous bitterness! Bitterness is a whole new species of monster.
This is what it looks like to let the sun go down on your anger:
– pretending nothing is wrong, but inside it’s eating at you like acid in your gut.
– having a falling out and letting days go by without reconciliation.
– giving someone the silent treatment; reconciliation only comes when you talk about the issue and ask forgiveness.
– bringing it up days later. “Well yesterday you did this, so you can’t get upset at me doing it today.”
– fantasizing about or plotting revenge.
– pretending nothing is wrong, but inside it’s eating at you like acid in your gut.
– having a falling out and letting days go by without reconciliation.
– giving someone the silent treatment; reconciliation only comes when you talk about the issue and ask forgiveness.
– bringing it up days later. “Well yesterday you did this, so you can’t get upset at me doing it today.”
– fantasizing about or plotting revenge.
So the “put on” behavior is self-control. This command to be angry and not sin implies that we have a say over how long we are angry for.
If you are an angry husband, or a moody teenager, or a crabby old woman, or an irritable mom, you need to identify, confess, repent, renew your mind, and put on the opposite, righteous behavior.
You can only do that by God’s grace because of Jesus Christ. But you need to treat the monster with urgency. Do NOT leave repentance until tomorrow. It may be too late to stave off bitterness.
