Does true love wait?

Rebecca St. James singing Wait for Me in April 2007. This song was written about true love waits. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last week, I came across a blog post entitled "I Don't Wait Anymore" written by a young woman in the U.K. Her main premise is that the emphasis on "waiting," sexually and otherwise, for a future spouse — a view we've received through "True Love Waits" and other campaigns — promotes the wrong picture of God. It essentially teaches you that if you wait in the correct manner, God will reward you with a spouse. But what happens when God doesn't hold up His end of the bargain?

There are a lot of girls out there who don’t know who God is anymore — the God of their youth group years just isn’t working out. Back then, that God said to wait for sex until they are married, until He brings the right man along for a husband. They signed a card and put it on the altar and pledged to wait....

Some of them have prayed their whole lives for a husband, and he hasn’t shown up. They’ve heard the advice to “be the woman God made you to be, focus on that, and then the husband will come.” They’ve read “Lady in Waiting,” gotten super involved in church and honed their domestic skills.

And still they wait. I know many single Christian women and men who find themselves in this situation right now. They've done everything "right," but they remain single when they desire to be married. They may even think that wanting marriage so badly is the thing that's keeping them single. “You’re right, God,” they say. “We’re not satisfied in you yet. We will put you first and then you can bring us a husband in your timing.”

But many of them — if they’re honest — will tell you that time has passed, and it’s wrecking their view of God. If this is who God’s supposed to be, then He’s tragically late.

Tragically late. Remaining single past (or even long past) average marrying age can feel tragic. And if we believe that God's timing is off or that He is purposefully withholding something good from us, it causes us to either question His sovereignty or His goodness. Either scenario leads to a warped view of God and His purposes for His children. All this emphasis on waiting for something God is sure to give us and trading obedience for true love, may have presented a false picture of who He is and what He offers us.

Christ is the source of everything we need and the giver of all good gifts ... but in telling people about Him, it’s possible we’ve sold them on a solution for life’s problems and not life itself. That's an important distinction. The author goes on to say: [What] if I’d learned that it’s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for Him to spend my life as He chooses for His glory?

That's the right question to ask. The purpose of my life, whether I'm single or married, is to bring God glory. And when I ask Him to "spend my life as He chooses," nothing can ever be "tragically late." The good news is, my greatest need — abundant life in Christ — is available to me regardless of what hasn't happened yet. That's freeing; instead of waiting in frustration for how I think my life should be, I can embrace God's perfect plan for today.